A frightening moment of Japanese Xenophobia
So I was at Matsue Station, passing time while I waited for a train to Yonago so I could get my little Yakuza Tough Sticker, and this dodgy guy in a rough-looking suit sidled up to me. He had a bruise and a cut on one side of his face, and bad teeth - the latter being a very poor signifier of social class in this country, but I assume the former means something in a land of perfect grooming. He snuck up on me from nowhere too, the kind of approach which always starts a conversation with me on a bad footing.
"I am a policeman," he said to me in moderately well-pronounced English.
"I don't believe you!" I replied jauntily, assuming this was going to be another tedious foreigner-meeting conversation.
"Do you speak Japanese?" he asked me then, and whisked an identity card from under his coat. To my shock, he really was a policeman! The conversation then proceeded as follows:
Policeman 1 (P1): Could I see your passport please?
Me [chuckling, because that very day my passport was in the mail from Tokyo after some dispute over my eligibility]: I don't have one, but I can show you my Alien Registration card
P1: Yes, please, that would be good.
Policeman 2 (P2) [appearing out of nowhere, also in a rough suit]: Hello! Where are you from?
Me: Australia.
P2: Oh! Australia! How cool! And you speak Japanese!
Me: Not really. By the way, why are you checking my Alien Card?
P1: Because it is illegal to be in Japan [or possibly in public - I didn't catch this bit] without carrying an Alien Card or a passport, and we are checking foreigners to see if they are carrying theirs.
Me: Oh! I didn't know it was illegal!
P2: Hey, I recognise you from your haircut. I often see you around the uni with a foreign woman.
Me: Yes, that's my wife [meaning of course the Delightful Miss E, to whom I assume he is referring].
P2: She has red hair, right? What does she do?
Me: She is an English teacher at the University.
P2: Really? Cool!
P1 [with a certain glint in his eye]: I wish she would teach me English!
Me: well, you would have to return to University, right?
P1 [with the same glint]: Well, I want to return to University!
P2: Well, thank you for showing us your card and enjoy your stay in Japan. Say hello to your wife for us! Thank you very much!
P1: Thank you very much, goodbye!
Me: Um, thank you...
Another moment of Japanese xenophobia passes me by in scary technicolour...
"I am a policeman," he said to me in moderately well-pronounced English.
"I don't believe you!" I replied jauntily, assuming this was going to be another tedious foreigner-meeting conversation.
"Do you speak Japanese?" he asked me then, and whisked an identity card from under his coat. To my shock, he really was a policeman! The conversation then proceeded as follows:
Policeman 1 (P1): Could I see your passport please?
Me [chuckling, because that very day my passport was in the mail from Tokyo after some dispute over my eligibility]: I don't have one, but I can show you my Alien Registration card
P1: Yes, please, that would be good.
Policeman 2 (P2) [appearing out of nowhere, also in a rough suit]: Hello! Where are you from?
Me: Australia.
P2: Oh! Australia! How cool! And you speak Japanese!
Me: Not really. By the way, why are you checking my Alien Card?
P1: Because it is illegal to be in Japan [or possibly in public - I didn't catch this bit] without carrying an Alien Card or a passport, and we are checking foreigners to see if they are carrying theirs.
Me: Oh! I didn't know it was illegal!
P2: Hey, I recognise you from your haircut. I often see you around the uni with a foreign woman.
Me: Yes, that's my wife [meaning of course the Delightful Miss E, to whom I assume he is referring].
P2: She has red hair, right? What does she do?
Me: She is an English teacher at the University.
P2: Really? Cool!
P1 [with a certain glint in his eye]: I wish she would teach me English!
Me: well, you would have to return to University, right?
P1 [with the same glint]: Well, I want to return to University!
P2: Well, thank you for showing us your card and enjoy your stay in Japan. Say hello to your wife for us! Thank you very much!
P1: Thank you very much, goodbye!
Me: Um, thank you...
Another moment of Japanese xenophobia passes me by in scary technicolour...
posted by Sir S at 5:58 PM
2 Comments:
Wow. Um. Wow. At least they left you alone after that.
the whole experience was amusing, not scary. The guys were friendly and cheerful, and they were more interested in making jokes about meeting the Delightful Miss E than they were in seeing my alien card.
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