The Universal Language

While wandering through the mud and the rain and the freezing cold to the car park with my fellow kempo practitioners, I was describing the temperatures in Australia. Everyone was impressed by the heat of Adelaide summers, and I found myself wanting to point out to them that Adelaide has a dry heat. Of course, I did not have the language skills to say this, and found myself looking for another way of saying "dry heat".

In a perfect world this would be achieved easily using the Universal Language of one-liners from Aliens. In this case I would say "Yeah man, but it`s a dry heat" and everyone would understand that I was corporal Hudson, under the reactor, in the humid heat, and would get it. Sadly though, I have come to realise the world is populated with a sad race of species known as humans who are not nerds, and do not understand the Universal Language.

So what to do in conveying this essential point? My mind roamed for a moment and I settled on a language almost as fundamental to the Universe as mathematics: the language of beer advertising. I said to my Japanese companions "yes, but it is like Asahi Beer: Suupa - Doo - ry!!!" This comment was greeted by affirming Japanese grunts, and the point was successfully made.

Beer! Is there anything it can`t do?