Civilisation at last

So it was that the inimitable Sgt M, the Delightful Miss E, and my own boring self found ourselves accidentally in a Hotel in Ikebukuro, Tokyo, this Thursday last. We had arrived by Shinkansen (bullet train) in this swarming metropolis with a very clear set of goals - crazy shopping, crazy kids, crazy dancing. I had been saving half my scholarship for 3 months in advance of this 4 days in the swarming centre of the world, and here I was, bag in hand (well, bags, actually, because I was carrying half of Sgt M's baggage - apparently in Australia "unaccompanied" means "accompanied by one of your friends"). I had the fullest intention of disgracing myself in the eyes of the entire world by going overboard in a million shops.

In the end it was the Delightful Miss E who disgraced herself, following me around through 16 levels of men's clothing department stores drooling at every man in every shop. I completely failed to take photographs of these beautiful men (it didn't even occur to me at the time) but I should have, because they are quite resplendent visions of masculinity, all sinew and bone and big hair and perfect clothes. I am of course only equal to these men in one very basic respect - I fit their clothes. I cannot explain to the average over-sized Australian man what it is like to finally be able to walk into any clothing shop you like and just know that the clothes will fit. I am slowly replacing my selection of Australian pants which slide off me without being unbuttoned, and my Australian shirts which are designed for pregnant men, and replacing them with cheap, fitted and perfectly fitting Japanese gear.

Not that it all went my way, of course - nothing does in this sort of campaign. I also followed Emma through many of her favourite types of shop - cigar shops, anime shops, clothing shops. We found many Gothic Lolita shops, which are surprisingly cheap (for those of you who know about that sort of thing and might be interested) and where Emma bought one or two small things; and there were various other things to be purchased. We were sore by the end of two days of this!

The Gothic Lolita look makes perfect sense against the backdrop of Japanese manners, which are in many ways trapped in an almost Victorian (as in 19th Century) sense of Manners. One does not drink tea, one takes tea (Japanese has the same verb for medicine and drinks, as English did a hundred years ago). There is a special implement over here for cleaning one's ears, and a certain sort of established formality which is redolent of a lost era. It came as no surprise to me, then that the ground floor of the Isetan Men's store contains, amongst other fineries, a bespoke perfume retailer (for men) and a cigar shop which has $500 enameled pipes on display, decorated with Oni or dragons or centipedes. They have implements for the sophisticated man here which have long since been forgotten in the west - fans, for example, snuff boxes, fob watches and waistcoats. And the men in Tokyo and Hiroshima make sure they use them. I challenge my Australian reader to find a bespoke men's perfume retailer anywhere in the English-speaking world outside of New York and London. This old-world manner combined with the extreme busy-ness and size of the city, its thronging hordes and enormously sophisticated modern technology, makes it seem for all the world like a kind of manic steam-punk science fiction without the steam - Blade Runner and The Diamond Age spring most immediately to mind. This post's picture is of Matt and Emma at Shibuya, apparently the world's biggest intersection, and at night with rain falling this place really does seem like something straight from a science fiction movie. Lord knows it is hectic enough at midday on a Friday!

In any case, the Delightful Miss E and I spent two full days shopping, with a brief break to visit a maid cafe and Yoyogi-Koen, where we put a little more effort into taking photographs of local strangeness. More on this shall follow. Rest assured that at the end of my weekend I returned to Tottori with $50 to my name, very firmly hoping that my pay would come through on the 25th.

Which, thankfully, it did.